Hand Sanitizer Makes Me Sick (version 1.01)

“Keep in mind that the nearest bacteria may be behind you.” – Purell advertisement

The War on Terrorism may have caused much more widespread disgust, but The War on Germs, perpetrated by Purell and its compatriots, takes the same fear mongering to an even more shameless place. The following is a brief tour of the world as seen through a film of ethanol, thickening agents, and artificial scent:

On the surface, Purell relies on fear mongering, highlighting the uncontrollable, chaotic nature of our daily existence and proffering their products as one way to take some control back. Recent magazine advertisements shout in bold, capitalized black text on a stark white background: “BACTERIA FOUND IN THESE PAGES INCLUDED IN NEWSSTAND PRICE,” inviting readers to “Think of all the people who flipped through this magazine and put it back on the rack. Fathers on diaper duty. Mothers with runny noses. Cooks who handled raw meat all day. They’re strangers to you but their germs just got pretty friendly with your hands.” This message paints a world that is not only chaotic, however. It also is full of antisocial people who do not value cleanliness. People who don’t care that their actions will lead to a violation of your person. On this level, Purell and company also paint a world that glorifies isolation; where even indirect contact with other members of a community equals contamination rather than any sort of beneficial exchange or synergy.

In fact, the contamination that Purell warns against is much worse than simple infection or illness. Rather, without Purell, the filth and chaos of the world will become an inextricable element of your very being. As put by a recent ad campaign, “You are what you touch.” You will not only be weakened and sickened by outside forces, you will become them. You will merge with toilets and trash cans, and you will be chaos incarnate:

Although hand sanitizer is mostly touted as a protection from illness, there is a second, deeper layer of symbolism at work in its promotion as well. Although at best only capable of killing bacteria and not removing any physical grime, it is also portrayed as a cleaning product. In fact, a product that is superior to previous, lower tech methods.

This connection to cleansing is also heavily associated with the feminine. This is easily demonstrated by a glance at the scents currently available: Spring Bloom, Ocean Mist, Crisp Apple, Cucumber Melon, and Spring Splash; all names that pick up on some of the most common labels of other feminine hygiene products. Names that draw on elements of nature that are joined to stereotypical Western femininity throughout the ages: flowers; spring; the ocean and water in general; and the overflowing bounty of Ceres herself represented through fresh fruits and vegetables. In addition, Purell offers product variations that not only boast these fresh and dainty scents, but also borrow from other elements of feminine hygiene and upkeep in the form of Moisture Therapy, and Purell with Aloe. With Purell, women will not only be clean, but have soft skin to boot.

Markers of femininity extend to advertising campaigns as well. Here, it is the woman’s job to protect those she loves, namely children, from a “dirty world”.

In short, Purell is a woman’s defense against a disgusting world that’s out of control.

Oh, and it’s not a Purell ad, but in closing, you should keep some around just in case you run into a wolfman or mummy as well. Those guys are notoriously germy...